


Keeping the Antichrist

by IAmAllYetNotAtAll



Series: MCUKinkBingo [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Good Omens, Good Omens AU, Irondads, Ironhusbands, M/M, Peter as the antichrist, Rhodey as an Angel, Tony as a Demon, small bit of an AU anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:55:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23583463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmAllYetNotAtAll/pseuds/IAmAllYetNotAtAll
Summary: Tony and Rhodey debate what to do with the antichrist.AU!Good Omens (sorta)
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: MCUKinkBingo [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1665352
Comments: 4
Kudos: 145
Collections: IronHusbands, Supernatural Avengers





	Keeping the Antichrist

**Author's Note:**

> Hey :) 
> 
> For the MCUKinkBingo  
> Prompt: AU!Hell
> 
> As soon as I was thinking of what to write next and saw 'Hell', my head went straight to Good Omens. I know it's a bit of a roundabout way to fill the prompt, but I hope it works anyway? I love IronHusbands, and I hope you enjoy this short plot bunny :)

The sleek black Bentley, clearly well loved and cared for, skids to a stop on a New York curb. The driver takes no notice of the bump. He rolls down the passenger side window and leans toward the opening. 

"Let's go, Angel!" He calls out into the darkness.

The corner of the block is mildly illuminated by a tall lampost, and his best friend can be seen locking up his tiny, hardly ever open for visitors, shop. He waves one hand over his shoulder to quiet him and finishes up his task. He glances up and down the street, and assured there's no one watching them, approaches the car. His eyes land on the small wicker basket in the passenger seat before he's even opened the door.

"Oh no."

"Oh yes. Hop in."

With a weary sigh, his friend obeys. He sits in the cozy leather seat and places the basket in his lap. The seatbelt isn't in place yet and the car's already headed to the next destination; if there is one aside from needless wandering. 

There's no sense waiting any longer. He opens the lid of the basket and stares at the small child in wonder. It's tiny, still slightly pink and blue-eyed. It's a male, based on human categorization of gender, and is swaddled in a dusty blue blanket. The angel can smell the stench of ash and blood that follows Hell on its heels but feels nothing but warmth and gentleness from the creature itself and it's hard to believe what it truly is.

"So this is the antichrist?" He asks his companion.

"The one and only."

"Didn't know the end of the world would be this cute."

"Getting soppy on me, Rhodey?"

"Can't help it. Did you see this face?"

"Yeah." The grin on his lips is enough for Rhodes to know they both feel the same way about the chubby cheeks.

He pulls the car over to the side of a quiet road surrounded by trees and dirt. Whatever miracle was performed has them sitting much further outside of New York than the twenty minute drive would typically explain.

The two celestial beings step out, one carrying the baby in the basket and the other tucking his sunglasses in the front of his shirt. The basket is placed on the hood of the car and they lean against it on either side of the baby to talk and make their game plan.

Rhodes has known the demon Tony for... six thousand years, give or take a few centuries. Disgraced and fallen angel turned demon with a penchant for scotch and cars and looking down on humans with snark and insults yet who will still do the occasional miracle because he can't quite manage to hate them. He'd known him as 'Antonio' and 'Anthony' and even 'Stark' when he'd taken upon the last name to fit better among the humans.

Tony has known him since his name was 'Rhodiel' and he carried around a flaming sword that he maybe gave to Adam and Eve, then changed to 'Rhodes' to fit amongst the humans while he fought in their wars ("Which war?" people might ask, "All of them", he'd answer), and the demon always needs to be special and has given him the nickname 'Rhodey' some-odd centuries ago.

He knows him as well as anyone can claim to know a demon. That look on his face, the slight upward glance, the downturn of one side of his mouth, the almost imperceptible scrunch of his nose. It screams bad ideas. Rhodes blames the warmth in his chest on the sleeping baby between them.

"What are you thinking?" He prompts with instant regret.

"We have the antichrist. Right here," he says while gesturing to the basket.

"Mhm. Obvious, but go on."

"I'm supposed to trade Satan's child with the Washington's. At a hospital in Washington D.C. In... four hours."

"Right."

"... That's as far as I got."

"We could... you know..." Rhodes does a tying gesture around his neck followed by a tug and Tony blinks disapprovingly.

"We're not killing the baby. What kind of angel are you?"

"The normal kind."

"Fair. But no. We can't kill the baby."

"It'd save us a lot of trouble."

"For heav-for, for hell's sake, Angel, we are not killing the baby!"

It's loud enough that they both look around to make sure no one's overheard them. It's quiet. An owl somewhere, a few crickets, a wandering squirrel. They're good.

"What do you suggest, then? This child is destined to end the world as we know it. It's the Plan. Capital 'P'. We're limited on options."

"I don't know, Rhodey!" Tony pushes off the car and takes a few strides away from them. He turns, arms out dramatically, "This is all bullshit!"

A pause. One that draws too long. His expression shifts to the one that is often followed by bad ideas.

"Unless..."

"Tony..."

"Let's keep the baby."

It's said with the confidence of a demon and only the charisma that Tony Stark can truly pull off. Rhodes is convinced for all of two seconds; until his brain catches up.

"What are you talking about, Tones? We can't keep the baby! What are we going to do with a baby-"

"We can be dads," Tony presses. "That's a thing now. All 21st century. Come on, Angel."

"Why are you saying that like I'm the one being unreasonable? You've lost your mind."

"Didn't have much to lose," he says with a grin and Rhodes rolls his eyes and tries to hold back the smile. Stupid demon. "Admiral Washington is fine, so is her husband - the... accountant, I think? But they're definitely going to turn this little tike into a proper antichrist and we can't stop that if we're not in the picture."

"And you think kidnapping the antichrist is the best way to do that? Really? You don't think this super rich family isn't going to have a - a gardener, or a nanny, or... a bunch of live-in employees we can infiltrate?"

"Need I remind you, my darling Rhodey, that you were the one who suggested child murder just, oh, three minutes ago?"

"I didn't - right. I did. Okay. So we kidnap the antichrist and go... where?"

"Somewhere... quiet. Like Utah. Or Norway."

"And we... what? Get a small cottage with a white picket fence, a garden, and a golden retriever?"

"What? No!" He finally returns to the hood of the car, leaning next to the basket. He opens the lid and looks down at the newborn, "Our precious antichrist here is definitely more of a rottweiler boy."

Rhodes laughs, "I'll compromise on a pug."

"So it's a deal?"

"This is the worst idea of all bad ideas. Your people couldn't conceive a worse plan if they had a millennia to figure it out."

"I'll take that as a yes."

Rhodes turns and grabs the basket, "Let's go, Peter, your other dad needs to drive us to Utah. Or Norway. I'm still not sure where we're actually going." He walks around the car back to his passenger seat, ever familiar over the past sixty or so years since it was first made and very quickly purchased by one frivolous Tony Stark.

Tony follows his lead and returns to his side of the car. He opens the door and leans on it, staring across the roof to his friend, "Wait. Peter? You already named it?"

"Him. And yes."

Tony's expression morphs to one of disgust, nose crinkling and eyes squinting, "Tell me it's not after the apostle. I'm begging you."

"Of course not. We all know he was a tool," Rhodes says with an eye roll. "It's after Peter Rabbit. You know, the baby rabbit that gets into trouble all the time? I have a feeling that's exactly what we're getting ourselves into."

"If we're lucky," Tony says with a wide grin, yellow eyes twinkling with mirth.

Rhodes opens his door and settles in with the basket, and the baby, in his lap. 

Angels, and demons, can't be parents. But it's no surprise it would take him and Tony to be the outliers, as they've been for six thousand years. Acquaintances, friends, now fathers ruining the great Plan. Capital 'P'. Never a dull moment when your life partner is a demon.

The baby starts shifting and the two celestial beings coo at once.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! :D
> 
> Sort of a play on the AU trope in the Good Omens fandom where Crowley and Aziraphale keep the baby instead.
> 
> Cheers!


End file.
